Conformity to Knowledge
by Medea3
Summary: In 1997, Sami discovers that her son was fathered by Lucas. And she tells him the truth! (Hey, it's fiction.)


  
"Conformity to Knowledge"  
Part 1/5  
by Medea  
April 10, 2000  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them.  
  
Notes: Takes place summer of 1997 and follows Days timeline up to that point (Roman and Eric haven't been heard from in years, Belle and Brady and Philip are toddler-age, Carrie spends no time with Mike, Billie and Jenn are in town, and Austin married Sami in Paris to get custody of Will).  
  
Prologue:   
  
Lucas sat by himself in the corner of the waiting room. He looked around for what must have been the thousandth time that hour. How many hours had he been in this room? He was sure he knew, he could work it out, but that simple arithmetic seemed too taxing at the moment. No one had really moved since his last survey. It surprised him how many people were still around. He had thought that most of Salem hated Sami, but here they were, holding a teary-eyed vigil for her. Perhaps when they saw someone who was so young about to lose her life they forgot about the lengthy list of transgressions she had to her credit.  
  
No one was doing him that favor, though. He had caught more than a few glares from Sami's family and his own; they would jerk their heads toward him as if to say "what is *he* still doing here?" They had some nerve having attitudes like that. He was always "here," by Sami's side. If anyone thought that he had somehow corrupted her, well, that person should have to explain why he or she hadn't been taking care of Sami when she was a high-school-age girl allowed to blackmail her mother, skip town, and deal with things on her own that even people much older than she would not have been able to handle.   
  
Austin was still whining at their mother and Carrie that he blamed himself for Sami's accident. "Well, why would you do that, Austin? Just because you ran her over not once but twice after she told you that that car was dangerous?" mumbled Lucas under his breath. Carrie looked more concerned about Austin than about her own sister. Kate had said, loudly, that she hoped Sami would die. "Not the thing to say in front of her mother!" thought Lucas. Kate now shot him a look. Lucas knew that his mother loved him, but she did not approve of the schemes he and Sami had invented to end Austin and Carrie's relationship. So now she was gloating because Sami's death would result in the end of her marriage to Austin, who would be free to move on with Carrie as if Sami had never lived!  
  
Oh, no, Austin was claiming to be too saintly to be glad that Sami's life was slipping away in the next room. Lucas decided that he couldn't stand to hear another round of this, and he stood up, preparing to remove himself from his semi-voluntary isolation. His anger grew with each step as he approached his mother, brother, and Carrie. He was fairly sure that there was no subtle way to begin this conversation; if there was he was too tired to think of it just now. Not that Austin deserved subtlety just now. Not that Austin ever really caught subtlety, anyway. That actually made manipulating him more of a trick than one would have thought.  
  
"Austin, I'm glad you feel guilty for running over Sami!" There, the first words were out of his mouth. Kate and Carrie were glaring at him. They were the two people he loved most in the world, but at the moment he didn't care what they thought. "Don't listen to Mom and Carrie, Austin, you deserve this! It's your fault! Sami told you that car was dangerous! She begged you to stop, AND IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S IN THERE FIGHTING FOR HER LIFE!" By now, even though Austin seemed to agree with Lucas' assessment of the situation, the two were throwing punches at each other. Nothing connected, but soon Lucas felt himself pulled away, and he looked into the angered face of John Black, the man who would be Sami's stepfather one of these days, if she lived.  
  
"Lucas! Austin! You are in a hospital! You are not helping Sami by fighting. Now you," he gestured to Lucas, "go find somewhere to cool off." Lucas didn't bother to look properly chastised, but he did as he was told. He wandered out of the waiting room. The hospital was filled with people he knew, and if he stayed in one place for too long someone would find him and talk to him. Being talked to just might be worse than being left alone to brood about the loss of Sami. It was selfish, he knew, that his thoughts were split fairly evenly between feeling sorry for Sami's loss, because she was so vibrant and had so many plans for her future and her son's future that would not be realized, and feeling sorry for his own loss. He wasn't sure when Sami had become such an integral part of his life, but he wondered what he would do with his time if he couldn't go running off to see her. When was the last day he had gone without speaking to her? Probably when she'd been in Seattle. He just counted on her for a daily smile or jolt of energy-- how many people were there in the world who were willing to pretend to be their own Swedish maids, complete with inane accent, to keep from being served with divorce papers? How often did he think "I can't wait to tell Sami this" or "Sami will think it's funny" or "Sami will understand?" Lucas swallowed hard.  
  
He found himself retracing his steps. He could actually see into the ICU where Sami lay unconscious. No one was in the room with her; that was a first. Was it a good or a bad sign? Impulsively, he looked around. Heads were bowed, families were embracing, and no one was watching him. So, with one last glance over his shoulder, he entered the ICU.   
  
For a moment Lucas just stared at Sami, who was hooked up to a roomful of machines. He had known how grave her condition was, but knowing and seeing were not the same thing. Again, he forced down the lump in his throat, and, since it seemed like the proper thing to do, he sat down in the plastic chair beside her bed and took her hand. Now what? Her family had been talking to her. He could do that, too. His voice was probably more familiar to her than the voices of the family members she rarely saw and claimed to detest, anyway. "Sami." His voice was swallowed by the machines and the room. Somehow he had expected an answer. But even Sami wasn't a good enough liar to fake cardiac and pulmonary distress, potential paralysis, potential brain death . . . "Sami," he repeated. He went through the motions, and told her that her family missed her, and most of all, Will missed her. He truly loved Sami's little boy. The thought of Will growing up without a mother . . . oh, right, Carrie would take over. Again, it would be as if Sami had never existed.  
  
But she existed to him, and if that wonderful, devious mind of hers was still functioning, she was going to know it! "They say we're bad people, Sami," he began, hating himself for letting his voice crack. "We're really a lot alike. We know what it's like to be alone." The thing to say to someone who could be mentally choosing whether to live or die, right? "Except I don't feel alone when I'm with you Sami." He had never felt as alone as he had ever since she'd fallen under Austin's tires. What if he felt this way forever? "Please don't die, Sami." Now he was crying and didn't care. It just didn't matter. Nothing did, not Austin or Carrie, nothing. When he left the room, he realized that his mother had overheard him. That didn't matter, either. Far be it for *him* to accuse anyone else of eavesdropping.   
  
He promised himself and anyone else who might be listening that if Sami lived, he would make sure he appreciated her as a friend and not as a tool for getting what he wanted. She wasn't the same bratty teenager he had met ages ago. She was an integral part of his life, and he needed the time to thank her for that.  
  
*********************************  
  
And now on to our feature presentation: Chapter One:  
  
Sami smiled in spite of herself as she thought about Austin and Lucas building Will's tricycle. They had looked so, well, brotherly. That probably made Austin happy. He wanted to believe Lucas was a good friend, a good person, not someone who would, hypothetically, help his brother's wife fake amnesia so he would be unable to divorce her and marry her sister. A nice, *happy* family. Sami scowled again. She was alone in the room except for Will, so there was no need to hide her feelings. Lucas was always worrying that she would blow their cover by glaring at her mother or John or Carrie. Lying to a whole city was tough. And soon, she would need to lie to Lucas as well.  
  
It was a shame, really. They were still using each other in the way they always had; during the brief period in which she actually had forgotten that past four years, he had suggested that she would regain her memory if she went to her husband, Austin's apartment, and if she happened to interrupt his romance with Carrie, so be it. But despite the fact that Lucas had manipulated her shamelessly, he had made an effort to let her know that he was her friend as well. When he came over scheme, there was a definite measure of affection thrown into the mix, and she knew that she could count on him to help with physical therapy or her son when Austin wasn't around.  
  
She liked Lucas as well. She had liked him when she didn't remember who he was. The look on his face when he realized that she had amnesia was etched into her memory. He had strolled into her hospital room and, grinning, congratulated her on her acting ability. She had had to tell him that she didn't know who he was, and had asked if they were friends. She had certainly hoped so. The color drained from his face, though, as he suddenly believed that she truly had no idea who he was. He had been sweet to her from then on; Sami wondered if it had been hard for him to keep so much of his personality under wraps while she was acting like she was still sixteen years old and happy as a clam. He had certainly been relieved when that shock had brought her memory back. Someone who actually liked her better in her current incarnation than as a sweet Carrie-clone.  
  
Liking Lucas did not mean that she wanted to have his child. But it was a little too late for her to decide that now. She had been putting together Will's baby book while Austin and Lucas built that tricycle. Idly glancing at a form, her eye had fallen on her son's blood type. She had been thinking about blood types a lot since her accident. Austin had been frantic when he donated blood, everyone had told her so . . . and speaking of blood types . . . wasn't it biologically impossible for a child of Will's blood type to have parents of Austin's and her blood types? Horrid visions of children switched at birth flashed through her mind, but she had held Will on the day he was born. So had Austin. This *was* her son. So he had to be Austin's as well, she hadn't been sleeping around, there was just that one night with . . . oh no. Unsuspecting, Lucas had shown her his driver's license upon request, and, sure enough, his blood type matched.  
  
She could fix this. She would fix this. No one ever had to know. Lucas didn't want a son. Lucas wanted nothing but Carrie, and his chance of getting her were zero and none if Will was not Austin's son.  
  
A knock sounded at the door. Warily, Sami answered it, as Austin emerged from the back of the apartment. Think of the devil and the devil appears . . . it was Lucas. Panicked, Sami did the first thing that came to mind: she slammed the door in her sometime friend's face. That would fix things, for all of a second or two.  
  
"Sami? Did you just slam the door in Lucas' face?" Austin reached around her and let Lucas in. Lucas gave her an odd look but refrained from comment, but Austin was obviously awaiting an explanation.  
  
"I just lost my balance. I can't really use my legs like I could before the accident. That's why I slammed the door like that. Sorry, Lucas."  
  
"No problem," he said, but he was studying her, making her feel oddly like a caged animal.  
  
Austin was more reassuring. "Well, let's get you sitting down again," he said, and guided her over to the couch. She reveled in his attentions, even if his mind was on Carrie and they both knew it.  
  
Austin and Lucas engaged in some form of what Sami assumed was supposed to be brotherly banter. Lucas looked less pained than he had used to look during this kind of conversation; maybe he wasn't faking the affection any more. Finally, Austin turned to Sami again.   
  
"I have to stop in at work for a while. You can pretty much take care of yourself, now, right, and Lucas is here?"  
  
Sami made a motion to protest, but Lucas saw and interrupted her.  
  
"Sure, she'll be fine. Sami and I have lots of catching up to do, don't we, Sami?"  
  
Austin laughed. "Thanks, Lucas. But you just saw each other yesterday."  
  
"Well, like Sami's been saying since she got hurt, you have to enjoy whatever time you can get with people you care about, right?"  
  
"That's right," said Austin, and everyone knew he was thinking of Carrie, who was probably awaiting him at Titan.  
  
"Get to work, Bro," grinned Lucas. "The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back." He gave Sami a look, daring her to try to keep Austin in the room. Sami gave in.  
  
"Goodbye, Austin. Hurry back."  
  
"You bet. Need anything?"  
  
"Not that I can think of. Love you."  
  
"Love you, too," Austin mumbled, hurrying out of the apartment.  
  
Lucas followed his brother to the door, which he bolted as soon as Austin had moved into the hallway. He turned to face Sami, managing to look simultaneously menacing and compassionate.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"I told you, I'm sorry about slamming the door, I slipped--"  
  
"Don't play dumb, Sami. It doesn't become you."  
  
"I am sorry, though." Her voice took on a new tone. "You have *no* idea how sorry I am."  
  
"Look, Sami this isn't about you slamming the door just now."  
  
"No kidding."  
  
"You've been acting strange for a few days."  
  
"Need I remind you that not only does this entire city except for you believe that I have amnesia, my mother is planning to marry the man who ran my father out of town, my husband is in love with my sister--"  
  
"Cut it out, Sami! That might work on Austin, but probably not on Carrie or your mother, and certainly not on me!"  
  
"Well, I'm sorry if the truth isn't good enough for you! I don't have to put up with this."  
  
"You're wrong there. You do have to put up with this. There's no one to stop me from grilling you until you crack."  
  
Sami briefly looked amused. "What bad movie did you watch last night?"  
  
Lucas rolled his eyes. "That isn't important. What IS important is what's wrong with you." He put his hands on her shoulders to keep her from rising from the couch. Her mobility actually wasn't what it had been before her meeting with Austin's tires, so she couldn't leave unless he decided to let her. She squirmed.  
  
"Nothing is wrong with me, Lucas."  
  
"Good, we're making progress. You sounded less convincing than ever that time."  
  
"Lucas, a lot of things are going on and I just can't talk about them . . ."  
  
"Sami." He let go of her and moved so that they could look each other in the eye. "You can talk to me about anything, Sami. Don't you know that?"  
  
Sami stared at him. He looked so earnest. How could it be harder to lie to one person about one thing than to an entire city about everything? She drew in her breath. "I'm gonna tell you."  
  
"Please tell me. It's all right."   
  
For a brief moment, Sami considered that it would be all right. Sometimes, a brief moment is enough.  
  
"Well, the other day, when you and Austin were building the tricycle, remember how I was staring at your driver's license?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I wasn't making fun of your picture."  
  
"Good. It isn't that bad. But why WERE you staring at it?"  
  
"I was looking at your blood type. You're the same type as Will."  
  
"So? He's my nephew, and there are only four types to choose from, anyway."  
  
"You match him, Austin doesn't."  
  
"That's not that unusual. Parents don't have to match their children."  
  
Why had Lucas chosen today to become dense? "Lucas, it's biologically impossible for someone of Austin's type and someone of my type to have a child of Will's type. For my son to have the kind of blood that he has, the father would have to have blood like yours."  
  
A thousand thoughts hit Lucas at once. The most vivid thought was a memory of the floor of the Titan photo room, about two or three years ago, and a teenage girl with long, blonde hair . . .  
  
"Spit it out, Sami."  
  
"Spit it out?"  
  
"Just say it. Stop explaining and say it."  
  
"Lucas, I know this is a shock. You can see that I'm in shock and I've known for a couple of days." She raised her eyes to meet his. "Austin isn't Will's father. You are."  
  
Lucas was stunned. He had realized that she could only be heading toward one thing with her little statements about blood types, but it was different actually hearing her say the words.  
  
"Lucas? Say something."  
  
"What would you like me to say, Sami? Thank you for waiting two years to tell me that I have a son?"  
  
"Lucas, I didn't wait two years. I barely waited two days. We started this conversation because you wanted to know what happened to make me act differently."  
  
Lucas ignored her. His shock was quickly becoming anger. "No wonder I always felt so connected to him. I never thought I'd feel that way about a kid, but Will was special. Sami, HOW could you not tell me?"  
  
Sami was getting upset herself. "I didn't know!"  
  
"Even if you didn't, you can still count to nine!"  
  
"Not any better than you can!"  
  
"I asked you, when you first found out you were pregnant, if you were *sure* it was Austin's, and you said you were. I never should have listened to you."  
  
"I thought it was Austin's. I thought it was a sign, a sign that we were meant to be together."  
  
"You didn't do a paternity test."  
  
"I couldn't have without you. You didn't think Austin would demand that I do it, did you?"  
  
"Well, we're getting one now!"  
  
"We don't need it. Just simple blood types show--"  
  
"I know that! But I don't know how many other guys you slept with."  
  
"Lucas Roberts, you know how it happened with you and with Austin. You know what I was going through, what I was like when I was seventeen years old."  
  
"I don't, Sami, I don't know you. I don't know what you did when you were practically living on the street in Seattle. Maybe you needed a little money, and the easy way for a runaway to get it is--"  
  
"Shut up, Lucas! I didn't do that! I wouldn't!" Sami started to cry and Lucas looked at her with disgust.  
  
"I don't want to hear what you didn't or wouldn't do. I'll be back later to see my SON!" He punched his last word and slammed the door on his way out.  
  
End Part 1  
  
"Conformity to Knowledge"  
Part 2/5  
by Medea  
April 11, 2000  
  
A baby's cry came from the far bedroom of Austin's apartment.  
  
"Just a minute, Sweetie, Sami called, realizing that her two-year-old was extremely unlikely to stop his screams at her promise to arrive within a few moments. She carefully used the arm of the couch to push herself to her feet. Letting go, she nearly staggered into the table. Should she use the wheelchair? No, she promptly decided, she was steady enough on her feet most of the time now and Will was waiting for her. She wobbled slightly as she moved through the bedroom doorway, and then disaster struck. The door jamb protruded slightly into the room, and somehow Sami's foot caught it. She reached for anything to support herself, but her grasping hands found nothing, and she fell to the floor.  
  
Now Sami felt like joining her son in crying. Pain shot through her legs and back. At least she could still feel them, not that that seemed like such a great thing just now. After a minute or two, Sami sat up over the protests of her back. Even if she could use the door to pull herself to her feet, she probably couldn't stand. Why hadn't she used the wheelchair? She wasn't supposed to be alone yet, especially not alone and entrusted with the care of a small child. Why did she have to break two rules at once? And what had possessed her to tell Lucas the truth? Her first choice, a trip to the hospital to change the records as she had done with her sister Belle, had obviously been the correct one.  
  
Sami jerked her attention back to the problem at hand. Her son was less than ten feet away. He had nearly stopped crying as he watched her with interest. Crying or not, he still needed his mother, Sami decided. She continued to search for options other than the one which kept returning to the front of her mind.  
  
Unable to invent a better alternative, she dragged herself across the floor by her arms, glad that Will wasn't old enough to remember this. She was also glad she was wearing jeans and wouldn't have too many rug burns to go along with her more serious injuries. Reaching the crib, she pulled the side down, and half-picked up, half-caught Will as he jumped into her arms. His weight seemed unbearable. It shouldn't hurt to hold your baby, she thought, but it did. Her clothes were damp with sweat as she did her best to reassure Will, with some success, although he obviously knew that something was wrong. Exhausted and in pain, Sami sat on the floor and wondered what in the world she should do now.  
  
Outside the apartment, Lucas prepared himself to go back into battle. He knew that he and Sami were going to fight over something, although he wasn't sure just what. He did know that he had been slightly unfair to her earlier-- she obviously had told him about Will's paternity soon after discovering it, and the willingness to believe that Will was Austin's son had been as much his as hers. Besides, she wasn't up to being left alone with a baby to take care of, HIS baby to take care of, at that.   
  
Lucas knocked on the door, and, when he heard no response from within, simply turned the knob. He was surprised to discover that it was locked. Sami hadn't left, had she? She couldn't have. There was no reason for her to go anywhere, and on top of that it would be a stupid idea to leave when you couldn't really walk and had a two-year-old to look out for, not that he put stupid ideas past Sami Brady. Concerned, Lucas wondered if he should kick in the door. "No, that's a little extreme," he said to himself. He ran downstairs instead, and climbed back up the fire escape. He knew from considerable experience that one could see into Austin's apartment from there.  
  
Where was Sami, then? He looked inside. "Oh, shit," he cursed under his breath. Sami was on the floor of the bedroom, holding Will, who looked slightly disconcerted but unharmed. Sami, though, sported disheveled hair and clothing and he was not entirely certain that she was conscious. A few of the promises he'd made himself the last time he had seen her look so helpless returned to the forefront of his mind as he opened Austin's window from the outside, something he had done many times before without such good intentions.  
  
Lucas scrambled into the room and ran to Sami's side. He was relieved to see that she was in fact awake and alert.  
  
"Lucas . . ."  
  
"Oh, God, Sami, what happened?"  
  
"Take Will, please." He did as he was asked, hugging the child that he now knew was his own before placing him back in the crib.  
  
"Sami, hold on, I'll call an ambulance."  
  
"You don't have to. It's not that bad. I just should have used the wheelchair."  
  
"Damn right you should have, but you shouldn't have been alone. What do you need?"  
  
"The painkillers are on the table in the living room. Can you get me back there?"  
  
"Sure, I'll get your-- no, never mind." He knelt on the floor beside her. "Can you get your arm around my shoulders?"  
  
"I think so, but you don't have to--"  
  
"Will it hurt you if I do?"  
  
"Not any more than it hurts already."  
  
"Okay." He stood as gently as he could with Sami in his arms, but she still groaned as he carried her back to the living room couch and handed her the medication. She leaned limply into the cushions, and he couldn't stop himself from brushing her hair out of her face.  
  
"I'm sorry, I know I look awful."  
  
"You could never look awful, Sami," Lucas replied sincerely, almost before he knew what he was saying. "But I am worried about you. Are you sure you don't need a doctor?"  
  
"Yeah. I just fell. The medicine works really fast, though."  
  
Since Sami did seem to be feeling some relief, Lucas decided to check on will. Upon his return, Sami looked considerably better.  
  
"Thank you, Lucas."  
  
"No problem. I never should have left."  
  
"You had a right to be upset. I do know that. I could have found a better way to tell you."  
  
"I don't know about that. There's no easy way to hear that you have a son you've never known about. And I am upset, but not just with you. I ignored the evidence, too. But things are changing now. Will is going to get to know his father."  
  
"He does know you. You see him every day, you've seen him every day since he was born. You've bought him so many presents he could open his own toy store."  
  
"It's not the SAME, Sami. Having a nephew isn't the same as having a son. There are so many other things I would have done, or wouldn't have done."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, like that damn apartment you were living in a few months ago to scare Austin! I never would have let my son live in a dump like that."  
  
Sami's gratitude was fading fast in favor of ire. "What, it was good enough for MY son but not yours?"  
  
"It was your decision to use him as a pawn to get Austin."  
  
"You used him, too Lucas. It isn't any less wrong because of some little biological quirk."  
  
"Biological quirk? That's what this is? Sami, you grew up thinking one man was your father and then you found out differently. So did I! Is that what you wanted Will to go through?"  
  
"I was RELIEVED to find out John wasn't my father, Lucas! I would HATE to be related to that man by blood. And you got adopted by the most popular family in Salem when they realized who you were, so you shouldn't have any complaints, either."  
  
"In that case, our complaints should be that we didn't know sooner! You don't think Will will benefit from having his father around?"  
  
"He has Austin! He loves Austin! And he will shatter if you try to take Austin away from him."  
  
"Then he'll shatter sooner or later and it may as well be sooner."  
  
"Lucas! That doesn't exactly show that you're concerned for him."  
  
"You don't seem very concerned about him, either, since you want to lie to him for his whole life. You think I'm going to be that bad a father?"  
  
"No!" Sami took a deep breath. "You're great with Will and you always have been. And I didn't *have* to tell you what I found out."  
  
"I would have found out eventually."  
  
"Maybe. Maybe not. Look, Lucas, what do you want out of life?"  
  
"My son."  
  
"What else?"  
  
"Carrie." The answer came automatically. He had been saying that for so long.  
  
"Right, and you've almost got her. What is the one thing keeping her from marrying Austin tomorrow?"  
  
Lucas didn't like the way this was going. "Will."  
  
"So, you can do everything with him a father does without letting anyone know why, right? Just until our relationships with Austin and Carrie are solid. Then we can stage something to make the truth come out--"  
  
"The truth! Sami, you don't know what truth is!" Lucas strolled over to the bookcase, looking for a dictionary. Finding it, he read: "Truth. Conformity to knowledge, fact, or actuality; veracity." He slapped the book shut. "We can't do this. I won't."  
  
"Of course we can. We've come this far! What have we been doing with every waking moment practically since we met each other? Trying to get Austin and Carrie to break up. And we're almost there. All we have to do now is--"  
  
"NOTHING! I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY SON!" He made the mistake of grabbing Sami's shoulder to make sure she looked him in the eye, and she responded by cringing in real or faked pain. "I'm sorry," he added, not entirely meaning it.  
  
Sami's eyes were once again bright with pain. "I can't do this without you. Think about what you're throwing away. I know you love Carrie. I know you can make her happy. You would be happy, she would be happy, and I would do everything to make Austin happy. He's the one thing I need, Lucas. The one thing that would make up for everything."  
  
Seeing Sami look so completely young and vulnerable always had an effect on Lucas that he didn't much like. It made him say or do things that he felt were completely out of his character, things that interfered with his own plans. This time was no different. "Maybe, maybe, if you already have a good plan, we can try it for a little while."  
  
Sami's face lit up. "I do have a plan! My Mom and John" the grin fell from her face "are having an engagement party at the Pub in a few days. I'll do the same thing I've been doing, tell Austin how sorry I am I don't remember our wedding, and bring up that Mom and John have had one big wedding, when they thought he was my father, and are still having another. I honestly think that he's fallen so completely into our routine that he'll suggest we do the same! Carrie won't stand for that, you know she thinks she's been a doormat long enough and suspects I have my memory back. She'll tell Austin to choose, and he'll choose me. He always does. What you do is pretty much up to you-- just that comfort thing, I guess. Show her what a great guy you are."  
  
"What a great guy I am, huh?"  
  
"You are a great guy. You have the best sense of humor of anyone I know, you take good care of people you love, you're smart, you aren't bad looking, either. There are so many things I appreciate about you, and I know Carrie sees them too. You just do what comes naturally. I have the hard part. I have to act happy for Mom and John. I might even have to agree to be in the wedding."  
  
Lucas started. "That's right, I meant to tell you before you slammed that door in my face. Your Mom wants both Carrie and you to be bridesmaids. Carrie's convinced that this will be what makes you slip up and admit you have your memory back."  
  
"Oh, great. This will be fun." She forced her face into a smile that looked more like a demonic grin. "I'm *so* glad you're finally marrying your lover, Mom. I'd love to be in your wedding and show my support for the way the two of you and your lovechild broke my father's heart so I lost even more time with him than I already had! You are just about as high on my list if favorite people as Stefano DiMera." She batted her eyes. "So what color is my dress? Is it pretty? Will it look just like Belle's, since I'm sure she'll be the cutest cute flower girl in the history of the world-- what? Why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
"Weren't you about flower girl age the last time they got married?"  
  
Sami groaned, and became tight-lipped. "Yes, I was."  
  
Lucas snickered. "Thought so. You must have been cute." He knew that this was not one of Sami's favorite subjects-- far from it-- but the thought of the vindictive, scheming, self-centered woman-girl he knew twirling in a pastel dress with a basket full of flower petals amused him enormously.  
  
"Not particularly."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Nothing happened. I was a little kid. I mostly remember being bored."  
  
"Come on, I know you're lying." He shrugged. "I can always ask Carrie."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Then what?"  
  
She heaved an exasperated sigh. "I was supposed to be the flower girl, and Eric was the ring bearer. But we got to the aisle and looked down it, and we looked at everyone waiting, and at each other, and we were too scared to move. I've almost never been that scared. It was like I didn't know anything except that there was NO WAY they were going to get me to walk all the way down there. And Eric felt the same way, and we could sort of sense each other, a twin thing, and we kept reinforcing each other's feelings. It was awful. So John was standing at the altar waiting for Mom, and he ran back up the aisle, picked us up, and carried us down to our grandparents. Carrie was really the flower girl, not me."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"Hmm, what? I have a longer history of being the screw-up while Carrie was the good one than you thought?"  
  
"Actually, I was mostly thinking about how weird it is that I've known you for years, and Carrie, too, and I've never met this twin brother of yours. Are you completely sure he exists? You didn't make him up, an imaginary friend or something?"  
  
"Lucas! No. I did not make Eric up. He's in college in Colorado, I've told you that."  
  
"His college doesn't have vacations?"  
  
"He stays with our grandparents, my mother's parents. I lived with them, too, until right before I met you. All of junior high and part of high school." She paused and smiled as a random thought entered her head. "Do you know how hard it is to be in ninth grade and reading Lord of the Flies in English class when you're twins named Sami and Eric?"  
  
Lucas shook his head. "Hadn't thought of that."  
  
"I'm laughing now, but it was awful. That's the real reason we decided to finish school in different states. None of this 'I was homesick' stuff."  
  
"Sami?"  
  
"Yeah?" She was still giggling, although not the way she giggled when she actually thought something was funny.  
  
"If the two of you were so close that you could read each other's thoughts or whatever at that wedding, why doesn't he come see you now, when he knows you're hurting?"  
  
"The reading thoughts thing, it's not really that, it's just sensing," Sami rambled, "and it's pretty normal for twins, I think. They actually have formal rules in school systems about keeping you in separate classes, of course I used to yell at the principal until they bent that rule for us, and they make you sit back-to-back when you're taking standardized tests."  
  
"So you weren't close, just telepathic?"  
  
Sami's voice dropped. "We were close. He was close to Carrie, too, and closer to Mom than either of us. Your question . . . I don't know *why* he won't visit Salem, Lucas. I started asking him to come as soon as I got back. I needed someone to talk to about Mom and John and I was afraid to do it on the phone . . . but he always had something to do. After a while I just stopped. I never did *anything* to him." She had to fight to keep tears out of her eyes. She wasn't going to cry in front of Lucas. Again, that was. "Well, just regular teasing, but we really were almost joined at the hip until I started missing Mom and Daddy and Carrie so much. He said it would be a bad idea to come back, that they sent us away for a reason, but I wanted a *normal* family, not grandparents. I felt like I was losing them, but I guess I didn't realize that if I tried to get them back I'd lose Eric. And now Carrie and I hate each other, and I don't get along with Mom, and Daddy is gone, just as gone as Eric! I tried to protect him but it wasn't enough and he couldn't stay with me, and neither could anyone else. I only have Austin! Austin won't leave."  
  
Lucas had only meant to tease her about being a flower girl, not to open a floodgate. He wasn't sure how the conversation had gotten here. "Sami . . . I didn't mean to make you talk about that. But if it means anything, you don't just have Austin. You have Will, too, and you'll always have me."  
  
"Thanks Lucas."  
  
They suddenly froze as they heard Austin's voice, as well as Carrie's, in the hall.  
  
"I'd better starts saying goodbye to Will, then."  
  
"I guess, well . . ."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm sure we could get Austin to let you take him for the night if you wanted time alone with him."  
  
A real smile spread across his face.  
  
"Thank you, Sami."  
  
End Part 2  
  
"Conformity to Knowledge"  
Part 3/5  
by Medea  
April 12, 2000  
  
"There's my big guy."  
  
Austin grinned as he took Will from Lucas' arms, and Lucas tried hard not to look jealous. He hated that Austin acted like he had a right to do whatever he wanted with Will, whenever he wanted to do it. Of course, he reminded himself, Austin thought that he did have that right. Lucas actually felt a twinge of sympathy for his older brother; Austin was going to get hurt when he lost Will, and he was going to lose Carrie, too. Of course, he'd have Sami. Sami probably was the one Austin really loved. He chose her over Carrie time and time again. And Sami would have dozens of babies for Austin if that was what he wanted. Still, none would be like Will, although Austin would still be his stepfather.  
  
Over the past few days, Lucas had gotten to spend a lot of time with Will. Austin had noticed, and joked about it, but had not protested. Still, Lucas wanted more. "Be patient," he reminded himself. "This way you can get Carrie, too."  
  
He searched the room for Sami. She had arrived early, and helped to decorate the Pub. Now she sat in a booth by herself, trying hard not to look miserable. Austin was not far away, having taken Will to say hello to Carrie. Lucas pricked up his ears.  
  
"Hey, Will, say hi to your Aunt Carrie."  
  
"Hi, Will," grinned Carrie. Will reached out to her but said nothing.  
  
"Lucas had him all day."  
  
"Lucas has had him for most of the past few days."  
  
"He's just trying to be a good uncle, I think. And maybe a good brother. Most of the time he's an okay guy anymore." Lucas bit back a snicker. He was fairly sure that okay guys didn't eavesdrop, so he could hardly afford to react to their conversation.  
  
"Lucas has changed, Austin. Unlike Sami."  
  
"Carrie, I can't believe you can say that about your own sister. She has amnesia. She doesn't know we're together so she can't deliberately do anything to hurt us. She can barely walk, and it's my fault! That's why I'm spending time with her. But I love you, and I miss you, Carrie."  
  
"No, Austin, no. I'm sorry you blame yourself. I wish you wouldn't. It was an accident, but Sami has recovered. She HAS her memory back. Why else would she look so miserable?"  
  
"I don't know, maybe you should be a good sister and ask her."  
  
"Fine," said Carrie with something of a sneer. "I will." She headed for Sami, but was intercepted by her grandmother. Lucas just heard Caroline also remark that Sami looked decidedly unhappy for someone who was helping to throw an engagement party for two people she loved. Sami had to get her act together, literally, or their scheme was history. Lucas headed for her table.  
  
"Look, Sami, I know you aren't happy about this--"  
  
"Hello to you, too, Lucas."  
  
"Carrie, Austin, and your grandmother have commented that you look like your dog just died or something. And that's just in the last five minutes."  
  
"Well, Mom is marrying John--"  
  
"Who ruined your father's life. I know that's how you feel. I even sympathize. But you're going to blow our whole plan out of the water if you don't hide your feelings better than this."  
  
"But, how? How do I hide them?"  
  
"Think of something else."  
  
"Easier said than done."  
  
Lucas sighed. Things were never easy with Sami.  
  
"Okay, so a mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'We don't serve your kind.' The mushroom says, 'Why not? I'm a fungi.'"  
  
Sami just glared at him.  
  
"All right, it isn't that funny, but I can't tell you any good jokes while your grandparents might overhear."  
  
"Maybe you just don't know any good jokes."  
  
"I make you laugh all the time."  
  
"How do you know I'm not just laughing at you?"  
  
"What's so funny about me?"  
  
"Your complete confidence that money can buy anything . . . your unwillingness to wear jeans . . . lots of stuff."  
  
"Fine. Imagine me losing all my money. Imagine me being tied up and forced to wear jeans. Anything. Just look happy . . . what?"  
  
Sami was giggling now. "Not just forced to wear jeans. Forced to wear cheap jeans, the faded kind with holes, too. But they have to be tight, because we want Carrie looking at your butt." She burst into gales of laughter. "You'll be screaming, 'No, no, anything, just don't make me wear those . . .'" she put her head on the table, then looked up at him as she ran her hand over her hair and vainly attempted to stop giggling. "I'm sorry, this really isn't funny, I'm sorry."  
  
His face softened and he moved around the table to sit next to her. He rubbed her back as she continued to laugh, semi-hysterical.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay. This is probably good for you." They barely moved until they realized that Carrie had returned.  
  
"Lucas, may I speak to my sister alone, please?"  
  
"Anything for you, Carrie. Oh, and you look beautiful, as always."  
  
"Thank you, Lucas." Carrie turned her attention to her younger half-sister. "Sami? I noticed you looked pretty upset before. That's strange, since this is a celebration."  
  
"Did I look that upset?" Carrie nodded. "I'm sorry if I worried you. I was really just tired. But now I'm excited again. I can't wait for this party, and the wedding, the wedding will be even better." Sami kept smiling. Carrie walked away, puzzled. She was even more puzzled when Sami quickly agreed to be her mother's bridesmaid, and giggled like a little girl when asking about the color of the dresses.  
  
As always, Carrie found a sympathetic friend in Lucas. "Lucas, I was sure she was faking her amnesia even hours ago, but now she's acting all giggly and happy, like she was sixteen or something."  
  
"Carrie, I've never thought Sami was faking. You know that. Maybe you were just seeing what you wanted to see, because if she WAS faking, you could get back with Austin."  
  
"I must be the most selfish person in the world."  
  
"No, you're not. You're one of the least selfish people I've ever met." Not that that's saying much. "Carrie, you're wonderful, in every way, and I wish I knew what Austin did to deserve to have you wait for him like this."  
  
Carrie smiled. Lucas' heart almost stopped. That little half-smile was almost the same as an expression Sami had. But he wasn't thinking about Sami. He could see out of the corner of his eye that she was handling Austin. She had him looking at some kind of wedding book . . . she was honestly going to try this.   
  
"Lucas, you're so special," Carrie was saying. "I'm sure you'll find the right woman."  
  
"No one could ever compare to you."  
  
"Okay, let's do it!" They heard Austin's voice from across the room, and hurried to join them.  
  
"What's up?" asked Carrie.  
  
"Austin has a plan to help me get back my memory," bubbled up Sami eagerly.  
  
"Oh?" inquired Carrie.  
  
"Um, yeah," said Austin, suddenly less enthused.  
  
"Well, don't leave us hanging!" Lucas contributed, trying not to make eye contact with Sami. He was already sure that she'd done what she'd set out to do, and Carrie might suspect scheming if he looked to her for confirmation.  
  
"We're going to have another wedding," Austin finally explained. "Just like the first one. That's one of the few things Sami remembers, so we can re-create it and it might jog her memory. We got the idea from John and Marlena having a second wedding."  
  
"We? So this was Sami's idea," said Carrie flatly.  
  
"No, we came up with it together."  
  
"We're a great team, Austin and I."  
  
Carrie tried to smile and failed. "Yeah, Austin's a great partner, Sami. Um, Austin, since you're so good at helping people, could you help me bring the extra sodas in from the back of the Pub? We're going to need them."   
  
"Sure." Austin slid away from Sami. As soon as he and Carrie were out of earshot, Lucas grinned.  
  
"You did it Sami, you really did it!"  
  
"Well, don't just stand there, go listen in! Go!" Sami waved him away and he made his way behind the bar. Austin and Carrie would be shouting soon; this wouldn't be hard.  
  
"Austin, no, this is IT! Before it was for Will, and I was more than understanding."  
  
"But Sami--"  
  
"Sami is my sister. I care about Sami, I do. But you cannot be engaged to one woman and married to another! She'll get her memory back or she won't. This has gone on too long!"  
  
"It hasn't been THAT long."  
  
"If it hasn't felt like a long time to you, then that must be because you're so happy with the way things are. You have a choice. Her or me."  
  
"I won't choose like that, Carrie."  
  
"You just did." And Carrie Brady walked out of the room, and out of the building. Lucas let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. They'd done it this time. After years and years, they'd done it. He took off to comfort Carrie.  
  
**********  
  
"Lucas, have you seen Carrie lately?"  
  
"Yeah, I saw her at the office today. She's working on a new project and she seems pretty excited."  
  
"Good, that's good." Lucas was tired of Austin pumping him for information about Carrie. He was even more tired of the hangdog look Austin had worn since the party at which Carrie had ended their engagement weeks before.  
  
"You did the right thing, Austin. You can't have both of them."  
  
"I don't want both of them. Just Carrie. But I have a responsibility to Sami."  
  
"If helping Sami and marrying Carrie are mutually exclusive, then they are."  
  
"I guess. You really think she's happy?"  
  
"Well, you haven't been apart that long, so I'm sure she's not totally over you, but she's starting to heal. She loves work. Things will go better for her now."  
  
"I hope so. Listen, Lucas."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I know you were always after Carrie, for years."  
  
"I was. I admit it. She's a wonderful person. But I stopped, and I'm sorry. I can't believe I could do that to my own brother."  
  
"It's over. I forgave you a long time ago. But now I want a favor."  
  
"Anything."   
  
"I want you to try again. I want you to make her happy. Carrie deserves . . . to be happy."  
  
"I don't think she's interested in me that way, Bro. But I will be there for her."  
  
"Good, good. At least I have Will. You can't imagine how wonderful it is to have a child, how special. I hope you have a son some day."  
  
"So do I." Lucas' mood was now sour.  
  
"So, can you stay here with Sami and Will for a few hours?"  
  
"Sure, no problem."  
  
"Thanks." Austin left the apartment with the Titan paperwork Lucas had brought over, and Lucas headed back to find Sami. She was working on Austin's computer.  
  
"Lucas, I'm glad it's you. Look, you can read real estate ads on the internet! And Austin was the one who suggested I do it. We'll find a great house, with a swingset for Will . . ."  
  
"Sami, this has to stop."  
  
"What?" She knew what. They'd had this conversation a few times already. She always won.  
  
"I'm tired of hearing Austin call Will his son."  
  
Sami turned to him. "I know it's hard on you, but we don't have to do it much longer."  
  
"We never had to do it at all."  
  
"You want to stop? Now?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"Sami, be reasonable."  
  
"You be reasonable. We can't make all of this for nothing. I won't change my mind on this. It's only another month or so, I think, until Austin and I are married and living together and Carrie is in your bed."  
  
"Will is more important to me than Carrie."  
  
"You don't have to choose."  
  
"Fine. I don't know why I'm even talking to you."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"I'll be in the living room if you need anything."  
  
Sami turned back to the computer, feeling suddenly miserable. Arguing with Lucas had been fun once. Even a few weeks ago, time spent with him almost always left her feeling better than she had felt before he had arrived. She sighed. This wouldn't be easy. But a lost friendship was a small price to pay if the gain was Austin.  
  
End Part 3  
  
"Conformity to Knowledge"  
Part 4/5  
by Medea  
  
Note: In the real Days timeline, Kate knew about Sami faking her amnesia. (Sami blackmailed her into shutting up.) Not here.  
  
Sami was delighted that she was now allowed to go out and about on her own. Everyone had decided that her mobility was good enough to keep her safe. All that she was missing was her memory, which of course she wasn't really missing. Much of her spare time was used in planning her wedding to Austin, which would take place quickly, because, of course, she was *so* eager to remember her missing four years.  
  
She glanced at her watch. Less than five minutes until she had to meet Lucas at Salem Place. He had Will again. Austin didn't know this time; he had started to ask questions that Sami and Lucas didn't know how to answer, so, with Austin at work all day, Sami had simply handed her son over to his father for a few hours. His father. Sami half-cringed every time she thought of Lucas as her son's father. He would do a great job, of course, but no one was Austin. Besides, she and Lucas barely spoke anymore. Hello, goodbye, how are you, fine, thank you, you're welcome. That was about it. They even had problems discussing the weather.  
  
"Sami."  
  
"Hi, Lucas. How's my little boy?"  
  
"He's fine."  
  
"That's good. He was good all morning?"  
  
"The best."  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Fine. You?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
The silence lengthened.  
  
They were both relieved when their non-conversation was interrupted.  
  
"Lucas! I haven't seen you in a while. Hi, Sami. Hi, Will."  
  
"Hello, Jennifer."  
  
"Hi, Jenn."  
  
"Would you come join me at the Java Cafe? I've hardly been able to talk to any of my friends or my family since Jack went to prison."  
  
Lucas at first wanted nothing more than to refuse, but when Jennifer gave him her sweetest smile, he knew that he had no choice. He appreciated that Jenn and Mike did not shove his position as their half-brother down his throat, like Billie and Austin had tried to do. Instead, just because they shared the same father, a man that he had never met and a man whom Mike did not even refer to as "Dad," the two simply spared him a few more smiles than most of Salem did and gave him little things to look forward to. The hanging of his ornament on the Horton Christmas tree, for example, should have been awkward and vaguely inappropriate, but somehow it wasn't. Jenn was dealing with a lot of strange and unhappy things in her life at the moment-- her first ex-husband had shot the second, supposedly to protect Jenn and her young daughter-- so if she wanted to big sister Lucas for a few moments, well, he had no inclination to stop her.  
  
They brought their iced coffee to a table near the sidewalk and watched Salem's shoppers wander by. After some vague discussion of jobs and summer weddings and the obligatory note that Mickey was working hard on Jack's appeal, Jennifer glanced at Will, who had reached over to play with her bracelet, and smiled wistfully.  
  
"I hope you're enjoying him, Sami. They grow up awfully fast. Soon he's going to be begging to spend his summers at camp."  
  
"Abby went away to camp?" asked Lucas, surprised that Jenn would send her away considering the charges pending against her father and her father's allegations against her stepfather.  
  
"No. She wanted to, but I couldn't stand the thought of her being away after this thing with Peter and Jack." Her expression grew even more wistful at her mention of Jack Deveraux' name. "She had to settle for day camp. So don't waste a day with Will. It's even worse with Abby, since her father missed so much time at the beginning of her life voluntarily, and now he can't see her at all."  
  
Lucas briefly gave Sami what may have been a reproachful look, but it was so quick that she would have missed it on anyone else's face, so she was left unsure, especially since it had been a while since she and Lucas had actually done anything that could have passed for communication.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring down the conversation that way," Jennifer continued.  
  
"Don't be sorry, Jennifer!" exclaimed Sami. "If you want to talk about Jack, talk about Jack."  
  
"And as for kids growing up fast, you're absolutely right," added Lucas.  
  
So, thought Sami, he is still mad about that. Not mad enough to stop chasing my sister, though, and I even think she's softening toward him.  
  
"I can't even believe how grown up YOU are, Sami. I mean, Carrie is your *older* sister and it doesn't seem like that long ago *she* was in junior high and trying to . . ." Jenn trailed off, fearing she'd embarrassed her friend in front of her often-cruel younger sister and her potential boyfriend.  
  
Sami laughed. "It's okay. I knew about her crush on Frankie at the time. We used to be friends."  
  
Jenn stared at Sami, and Lucas winced. Of all the people with whom he had expected Sami to blow her cover, Jenn hadn't been one of them. But her reporter's instincts weren't going to let that little slip pass.  
  
"You *used* to be friends."  
  
"Well, yeah," said Sami innocently. "I don't know exactly what happened in the past four years, but she always seems like she's keeping something back from me now. I don't know. I guess it's just people getting older and changing."  
  
Jennifer's piercing gaze remain fixed on Sami, but she found nothing to tell her that Sami knew or meant more than she had said. Still, she felt that she owed it to Carrie to make absolutely sure.  
  
"How's the rest of your family? I'm actually meeting your Mom here, since Brady is in the same camp as Abby."  
  
"Well, then, you'll be seeing my Mom, but obviously she's great. She's marrying John, so how could she not be? And that makes Belle and Brady really happy. Eric I've barely talked to since the accident, but he, well, he seems like he's getting a little disillusioned with school. Daddy . . . I don't know. I don't even think the ISA knows exactly where he is."  
  
She looked to Lucas to see how she'd done, but he apparently wasn't even listening; he had a very bored look on his face. This was a lot harder without his help, not that she couldn't handle it.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sami," said Jennifer. "It's hard to be totally out of contact with someone you love."  
  
"Well, I'm glad I have Austin and Will, and Mom and everyone, too."  
  
"Speaking of Marlena," Lucas gestured across the street.  
  
"There you are, Jennifer. Hi, Lucas. And how is my beautiful daughter?" Sami swallowed a comment about not knowing how Belle was. Wow. That had really been a closer call than actually saying to Jennifer that she and Carrie weren't as close as they had once been.  
  
"Fine, Mom. How are you?"  
  
"Wonderful, Sweetie."  
  
"I thought you were going to pick up Brady? Where's Belle?"  
  
"Oh, she has a little bit of a cold so she stayed home with Chelsea."  
  
"That's too bad. I hope she feels better soon."  
  
Lucas semi-theatrically checked his watch. "I have to go back to work. So, I will see you all later. Bye, Will."  
  
Will waved and the others called their goodbyes. Lucas tried to make it look as if he wasn't storming off, which wasn't entirely untrue, since he was supposed to be at work. Not that his Mom would care if he didn't show up. She didn't care when Austin didn't, after all. Still, he hated this whole game and had long since lost sight of his motives for agreeing to play.  
  
Jennifer leaned back in her chair. "It's good to see you, Marlena."  
  
"And it's good to see you. How are you doing, with the situation with Jack?"  
  
"I hate the situation. I hate how much time Jack and Abby are missing with each other. I just hope that Uncle Mickey finds a way to get Jack home quickly. Every day I believe more and more that Jack was telling the truth about why he shot Peter, and that's awful, too. I worry that I can't protect our daughter . . . I don't knew where this is coming from. How are you, Marlena?"  
  
"Happy. I'm glad Kristen is out of John's life, and mine. I'm glad that I finally feel like I CAN protect Belle and Brady."  
  
"You really think Kristen would have hurt them?"  
  
"Not in the sense of hitting them, or even verbally abusing them, no. But I certainly think it would have hurt them to grow up without me because she helped her psychotic father kidnap me! I had that happen with the twins, and the thought of it happening again--" she broke off.   
  
"The DiMera family," said Jenn bluntly. "I can't believe I married one voluntarily. I can't believe I put Jack in this position."  
  
"You didn't put him there, Jennifer. You didn't pull the trigger."  
  
"No, but I married Peter after Jack said, and you said, and John said, and Abe said, and EVERYONE said he was bad news. I did it partly because I loved him or thought I did and partly to spite Jack. And I put Abby in danger, and sometimes I'm not sure I can live with it. I have to, because I'm Abby's only parent now. Again. All I can do is dedicate my time, and my energy, and my life, to getting Jack free, so he can watch Abby grow up, so he can scare her boyfriends and walk her down the aisle and meet his grandchildren. I was wrong to hold things against him for so long, when he was trying to do right by Abby. So now, I owe it to Abby to do right by her father!" Jenn's face flushed as he tirade wore down. "I'm envious of you, Marlena. I wish I had been more like you. Even when John was with Kristen, you and he were best friends and Belle and Brady knew that you cared about them and each other."  
  
Sami squirmed. She wished she had left with Lucas. There was no graceful way for her to leave in the middle of this conversation, but she felt like a voyeur.  
  
"Jennifer, I'm concerned that you blame yourself for so much of this," began Marlena. "Jack is hardly a blameless innocent. As far as that goes, neither am I. I knew that John had written a letter to me in Aremid, that he still loved me, and I didn't tell him that I knew or that I returned his feelings. I allowed Kristen to emotionally blackmail me. I gave her chance after chance to separate me from my children, and from John. I'm not quite sure I've 'done right' by him, either. I'm not quite sure that I've given Belle and Brady the best chance at getting all their parents have to offer them that they could have had. No one is sure. You do your best."  
  
"I guess that's all you can do."  
  
"It is." Marlena smiled again. "At least my daughter and Austin seem to be doing a good job in that department."  
  
Sami felt sick to her stomach.  
  
"Isn't Will's birthday coming soon? Do you two have special plans?"  
  
"Um, I don't know. Not really."  
  
Marlena and Jennifer simultaneously laughed. "I think we've intimidated her a bit, Jennifer. All this talk about being fair to your child's father. But that hasn't been a problem with you and Austin, Sami, that's all we're saying."  
  
Sami mumbled an excuse and stood up. Marlena grabbed her arm. "Are you sure you're all right?"  
  
"We didn't mean to upset you, Sami. Is there a problem with Austin and Will?"  
  
"None at all," said Sami, with a brightness that fooled no one.  
  
Jennifer thought back to her earlier observation that Sami had seemed a bit *off* when she had been asked about Carrie and the rest of her family. Was there an Austin-Carrie connection?  
  
"You know," she began, "our situations weren't just different because we weren't married to our children's fathers when these things happened. We weren't honest with them. I'm sure that even if Austin or you was with someone else, the two of you would be able to raise Will."  
  
"Well, that isn't going to happen."  
  
"Especially not with Carrie out of the way."  
  
"Jennifer!" exclaimed Marlena, even as she saw the flash of recognition in her daughter's eyes. "Samantha . . ."  
  
"What? What about Carrie?"  
  
"Forget it. I think your cover's been blown."  
  
Sami tried to force tears to her eyes, but they wouldn't come. "Why are you yelling at me? Can you tell me what I've done?" Naked pain in her voice was easier than tears, luckily. She had only to think of so many events in the past few years . . . she could go back to her childhood in a pinch, too, but her rape by Alan was usually a fail-safe.  
  
Jennifer and Marlena glanced at each other, once again unsure of the status of Sami's memory. Sami nearly rolled her eyes.  
  
"Austin loves me."  
  
"Of course he does, Sweetie," Marlena reassured.  
  
"Then why were you both just . . . yelling, about Carrie?"  
  
"Sami . . ."  
  
"Tell me the truth, Mom! You were just talking about being honest with your children's fathers. So what about with your children?"  
  
"Sami, we didn't mean anything."  
  
"Okay." Sami tried to look skeptical, though. "Why did you need to mention how Austin would act toward Will if he didn't love me? Are you sure you don't know something?"  
  
"Of course not. We were just saying that Austin is a good man and he understands that a child needs both parents in his life. He's the same as John. Even when he was with Kristen, he made sure that Belle and Brady and I and he all did things together. I know you don't remember, but you do know that Will was born before you and Austin married. He always made sure you did things together, took family portraits so Will would have pictures of himself with both of his parents, things like that. He knew what will needed and gave it to him. You don't have to worry about your son with Austin for a father, which is good."  
  
"You two will obviously always be friends," picked up Jennifer. "When Jack and I were fighting, Abby was the big loser."  
  
Sami nodded numbly. "May I go now?"  
  
"You *may*, but are you sure you feel all right? I know it's been a while since the accident, but you look so shaken up."  
  
"I am kind of shaken up. I'm worried about Will, all this about his relationship with his father."  
  
"I promise you that Austin--"  
  
"It isn't about Austin."  
  
"You said it was about Will's father."  
  
"And now I'm saying it isn't about Austin." What am I doing? Sami asked herself, too late.  
  
"Sami. Do you have your memory back?"  
  
Well, thought Sami, I'd better start doing damage control. "Not all of my memory," she lied. "You know I remembered some things. Marrying Austin and giving birth to Will. Well, the other day I got some papers. They showed Will's blood type." She gave Marlena the specifics. "If Will is my son, it's biologically impossible for him to be Austin's."  
  
Marlena paled. "Yes, it is."  
  
"When I realized that, I remembered something else."  
  
"Who is it, Sami?"  
  
Sami shuddered. "It's Lucas."  
  
"Lucas. That would have been my first guess. I'm glad it's him, considering that the other option is someone I've never met. But, Sami, you have to tell him."  
  
"He knows."  
  
"All right, Sami--"  
  
"I hate to interrupt, but Abby is getting out of camp in a few minutes. Do you want me to grab Brady for a visit this afternoon?"  
  
"Please do," said a distracted Marlena.  
  
Will, resenting the loss of Jennifer, whose bracelet he had continued to play with throughout the conversation, began to scream. Some of the other patrons of the Java Cafe began to glare at Sami and Marlena.  
  
"He's been up and playing all day," said Sami apologetically.  
  
"Take him home," responded Marlena. "I will call you or come over in an hour or so, okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Sami headed back to Austin's apartment, feeling less like a hypocrite, but wondering what she had done.  
  
**********************  
  
Lucas walked into Titan. He checked his office, and, finding he had no pressing commitments, went to find Carrie. She was in her own office. He noticed that some pictures of Carrie and Austin, taken during an emergency photo shoot last year in which they had filled in as models, were spread out on the table. Lucas knocked on the open door.  
  
"Carrie?"  
  
  
"There you are. I was waiting for you, Lucas."  
  
Lucas smiled as Carrie crossed the room, her face nearly expressionless. When she reached Lucas, she slapped him.  
  
Hard.  
  
"What . . ."  
  
"Lucas Roberts! How could you pretend to be my friend? Or Austin's? How could you do that to someone you claimed to love? And even more, how could you treat your own child that way? You do not deserve that boy! I can't BELIEVE I was so wrong about you. I can't believe what a hateful person you are!"  
  
"What? My son? Tell me what's going on!"  
  
Kate came in. "Carrie, I heard yelling. Oh, there you are. Lucas, I cannot even tell you how ashamed I am of you. I cannot fathom how you could act this way. I obviously failed you in some way when you were growing up. Everyone said I was spoiling you, but I said, no, he'll be fine, he should have what he wants, it won't hurt him. I was willing to forgive your earlier attempts to hurt your brother, but, Lucas, this! You are out of Titan as of now. Frankly, if it weren't for Will, you'd be out of the family!"  
  
"Kate," interrupted Carrie. "If you want to talk to Lucas, would you mind if I left early to go visit Sami?"  
  
"Please, Carrie. You don't even need to ask. Say hello to the little witch for me. I'll visit her myself shortly."  
  
"Thank you." Carrie nearly flew out of the building.  
  
"Mom, WHAT is going on?" Lucas demanded. They obviously knew that Will was his son, but how? And what else did they know? And why did his having a child with Sami result in his expulsion from his mother's life? It hadn't been so for Austin.  
  
"Don't play innocent, Lucas."  
  
"I'm not playing anything. I don't know what's going on."  
  
"Fine, Lucas. You don't know what's going on." Kate rolled her eyes in a manner usually reserved for Sami, or perhaps Vivian Alamain or Laura Horton. "Then you would be interested to know that Carrie got a call from Marlena this afternoon. It seems that Sami said that you were Will's father. I KNEW the little witch was faking her amnesia, but I didn't suspect this."  
  
"She didn't know. She didn't know until last month."  
  
"How could she not know? You both forgot that you slept together?" Kate looked at Lucas with disgust. "My God, Lucas. Did she ever even sleep with Austin? Probably not."  
  
"She did. She really thought--"  
  
"She thought, she thought, she thought about herself and you thought about yourself. You fathered a child and let your brother raise it as his own because you were after Carrie!"  
  
"Ever since I found out, I've spent every minute I could with Will. I was mad at Sami, too, but I love Will. We were waiting for the right time to tell Austin."  
  
"And the right time would have been after he married Sami again, is that it?"  
  
"No! I don't know."  
  
"Did this revelation occur before or after she got her memory back."  
  
"After. She's had her memory for a long time."  
  
Kate snorted. "Well, I'm going to see the mother of your child. Clean out your office, and get ready to move out of the Mansion. A man ought to have his own home for his children, you know."  
  
"I will do it LATER. If you're going to Austin's, I am, too. As long as Sami blew this thing out of the water, I'm taking my son."  
  
A modicum of respect entered Kate's eyes. "That's the first decent thing I've heard out of you in a while. Let's go."  
  
They could hear the yelling almost before they entered the building, let alone Austin's floor.  
  
"Sami, how could you do this to me? To Austin?" That was Carrie.  
  
"I didn't know. I was in shock. It was hard enough to tell Lucas."  
  
"Oh, you didn't know!?"  
  
"Carrie, stop this. I honestly think she didn't. She is not all the way back to herself. I didn't tell you what she told me so you could come over here and yell at her."  
  
"Marlena, I know she's your real daughter and I'm just your step--"  
  
"When have I *ever* treated you that way?"  
  
"but she's been out to destroy my life for years. And Lucas is obviously just as bad. Can you imagine knowing a child was yours and not claiming it so you could interfere with your brother's happiness?"  
  
"No, Carrie, I can't. I don't know what Lucas' motivations are, but this isn't Lucas, this is Sami."  
  
"Why do you always defend her?"  
  
"I don't. But she does not *remember*--"  
  
"Oh, YES, she does!" Kate stormed into the room without bothering to knock. "Lucas tells me that she's had her memory back for a long time, since well before she got the results of Will's blood work."  
  
Sami, who had initially been glad to see Lucas, someone else on her side, paled.  
  
"Why did you say that, Lucas?"  
  
"Because it's true, obviously!" exclaimed Kate and Carrie in unison.  
  
Lucas glared at her. "How was I supposed to know how much of the truth you randomly decided to tell without warning me?"  
  
"Warning you? I did it *for* you, and Will. Talking to your sister today--"  
  
"Billie?" wondered Kate.  
  
"Jennifer," corrected Lucas, with a withering look that nearly made his mother take a step back.  
  
"Anyway," said Sami, "I realized that Will has to come first, I've always said that to Austin, and it's still true even though you're his father--"  
  
"So you just thought you'd announce it, without telling me what you were doing? After I'd been asking you not to lie about this from the start? God, Sami, I really think I hate you."  
  
"I certainly do," added Carrie.  
  
Kate said nothing, but everyone knew how she voted.  
  
And now Austin emerged from the bedroom. He was carrying Will, and he had obviously been crying. "I have to agree with Carrie." He awkwardly handed his son, no, his nephew, to Lucas. "Sami, get your stuff out of my apartment now." His voice nearly broke, and Carrie reached for his hand.   
  
"Austin, we've done what we have to do. Let's go." She gently led Austin away, probably toward the rooftop.  
  
"Well, Sami--" Kate was ready to begin again, but she was stopped by Marlena.  
  
"That's enough Kate. You've done what you came to do, now let me talk to my daughter." Kate was obviously miffed, and although she stopped speaking, she pointedly refused to leave the room. Marlena chose to ignore her. "Sami, this is too much. Faking amnesia. Well, you don't have to pretend anymore. Don't pretend you care about your sister-- either of your sisters-- and don't pretend your happy about my wedding. You can consider your obligation to be a bridesmaid removed as well. I don't know why I considered putting Carrie through that. Or John."  
  
Sami began to cry. She was slightly comforted that everyone in the room probably thought she was faking.  
  
"Fine Sami, cry. I've said what I have to." Marlena got ready to leave. Sami turned furtively toward Lucas, who was still glaring at her. She had counted on his support, but it was gone. The one redeeming thing in this should have been the return of their friendship; that would have helped them as well as Will. The world was spinning out of control. There was no one on her side. No one. She reached for Will, but Lucas held him away.  
  
"Get out, Sami!" yelled Kate.  
  
Did she have a choice? "Take care of my little boy, Lucas."  
  
Sami ran outside. She had gone several blocks, still crying slightly, wondering if she would ever have a home, when she realized night had nearly fallen. How long had that confrontation lasted? She stumbled into the park. Unknown demons lurked in the shadows, but where else could she go? Frequently she was homeless in spirit, but seldom in body. At least Lucas had Will. He WOULD be a good father. Maybe better than she had been a mother.   
  
Her back and legs were beginning to ache, as well. Helplessly, she sank to her knees in the grass, blissfully unaware of the figure that approached her, the last person in the world that she wanted to see.  
  
End Part 4  
  
"Conformity to Knowledge"  
Part 5/5  
by Medea  
  
The grass was cool against Sami's skin, and the stars that were beginning to shine above her were beautiful, but whatever pleasure these things might have given her were lost tonight. She was miserable, plain and simple. Not that she hadn't been miserable before; she had. She vaguely wondered how this day ranked against the other bad days she had suffered through, but then decided that it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.  
  
No, some things mattered. Will. Always Will. She had tried to do the right thing for him. Maybe she had, but how could it be the right thing for him to lose his mother? For the first time since her son's birth, Sami truly doubted her ability to care for him. Yes, she would give her life for Will in a heartbeat. Yes, she would forsake anything, even Austin, if it would help her son. She had done so, in effect, but the result had not been peace and stability and trust in Will's life, but the potential loss of his mother. She had been the one caring for him since the day of his birth. Austin and Carrie and even Lucas had been around, but she had been the constant. And she had been proud that while she could be called a liar, a blackmailer, a manipulator, a cheater, a thief, even a rapist quite legitimately, she could not be called a bad mother.  
  
Could a bad person be a good mother? Sami wondered. Could she raise Will properly when everyone she knew hated her? She didn't care about being hated for her own sake, she personally found hatred easier to deal with than love, but when Will got older, would he resent it that he was not welcome in the homes of his relatives, of his potential friends?  
  
Self-doubt had plagued Sami throughout most of her adolescence, but somehow this particular new vein of self-doubt was worse than all the rest. She tried to cry again and was surprised to find that she could not.  
  
Suddenly, she became aware that she was not alone. As she had not been able to cry, she was neither able to scream. The figure approached her.  
  
"Alan Harris," her mind shouted automatically, and she scrambled to get her tired legs underneath her body. She successfully stood, but found her arms pinned to her sides.  
  
"Alan," she whispered, hating her inability to raise her voice.  
  
"No, Sami, it's me."  
  
"Austin."  
  
"Right."   
  
She had never believed that she would be made uncomfortable by Austin's touch, but, while he obviously was not going to hurt her, she was vividly aware that he touched her as a cop might touch a criminal whom he was forced to hold still, with utter distaste.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"As little as I like the idea, I'm talking to you. I didn't want any stray thoughts of you rolling around in my mind while I'm on vacation with Carrie."  
  
"You're back together."  
  
"Yes. And we will be together, married or not, Sami. You are out of our lives. We will leave Salem if we have to."  
  
"You found me to tell me that?"  
  
"No, no. I've told you that many times, that I love Carrie and will never love you, but you can't get it through your head. I accept that."  
  
"If you don't love me, why were you willing to marry me again?"  
  
"I thought it would help your amnesia, so I could get an annulment and marry Carrie."  
  
"But you wanted to marry me even after she said she wouldn't wait for you if you went through with the wedding."  
  
"Who told you that, Lucas? Man, he's just as bad as you are, hard as it is to believe."  
  
"Who cares how I know? Austin, you must care about me, or you wouldn't have chosen me over Carrie so many times. You just don't know how much you care about me."  
  
"I cared about WILL, Sami. I cared about you only as his mother. But Will isn't mine to care about, is he? That's why I came to find you."  
  
"I didn't know, Austin, until just a little while ago."  
  
"But you knew you slept with Lucas!"  
  
"Why does everyone keep saying that?"  
  
"Maybe because it's true?"  
  
"I still *knew* Will had to be yours. I thought it was a sign, because I loved you *so* much."  
  
"Sami, if you think that that's how it works, you're even more delusional than I thought you were."  
  
"I didn't think, I just felt, I just loved you so much, and you must care about me, too, you came out here--"  
  
"I came out here to ask you HOW you could do this to someone you claimed to love! I will never, ever get over the realization that Will isn't mine. For years now, since before he was born, he was the first thing on my mind when I woke up in the morning and the last thing when I went to sleep at night. Hell, I even dreamed about him. He mattered more than anything, more than Carrie, more than Billie, certainly more than me. And now he's GONE, and I'll never be able to replace him."  
  
"He thinks of you as his father--"  
  
"He won't for long. And he shouldn't. It isn't fair to him. But Sami, if you have a shred of decency in you, please tell me, HOW could you do this? WHY?"  
  
"I thought you were his father. I didn't know I was doing anything until recently. And when I did know, I thought that it would be better if you were really Will's stepfather before you found out the truth, so it wouldn't be as hard on either of you. My intentions were good. Austin, don't you forgive me?"  
  
"No. No, I don't. I don't have to forgive you. I don't like you or love you or care about you."  
  
"I know you're upset--" a car backfired in the not-so-great distance, and Sami, suspecting gunfire, immediately jumped for Austin. He thrust her away.  
  
"Get off me, Sami. I'm not your protector anymore. Stay here as long as you want. No one will miss you. I hope something does happen to you that puts all of us out of our misery."  
  
"You don't mean that."  
  
"I do." He paused theatrically. "So, when you were faking your amnesia, how did it feel to act like a good person? Did you have to run out at night and rip the wings off flies to satisfy yourself?"  
  
"Austin--"  
  
"What does it feel like to destroy your own sister, who has always done her best to take care of you?"  
  
"Austin--"  
  
"How could you have gone through what you did with Alan Harris and then turned around and raped someone you claimed to love? I don't like to say it. I don't like to think it, but you gave me drugs so I didn't know what I was doing, who you were . . . and how does it feel to have lied to your son for his entire life, while we're at it?"  
  
Sami's head was spinning again. She could not think of answers; again, she just wanted to get away. She turned and moved away as fast as she could, not caring about the direction.  
  
"Fine, run away. I don't care. No one does. We're thankful. And now I'm going home to CARRIE!" Austin shouted after her. Then he left, unhappy but feeling slightly better for having told Sami how he felt.  
  
Sami was surprised to realize that she was not being chased, and was caught between relief and disappointment. She slowed down again, and her mind returned to her original thoughts. Was Will better off without her? Her mother hated her. Her siblings hated her; one with something like good reason and one for no reason at all, but if Eric cared for her, he would have come to see her long ago. The same with her father. His ISA schedule couldn't be so busy that he was unable to contact her for nearly four years running. Of course, it was possible that he was dead and for some reason the ISA did not want his death made public knowledge. She shuddered to realize that she almost preferred this alternative to the idea that he just didn't care. Austin said he didn't care, and he had sounded like he meant it. And Lucas. Everyone she had grown up around, the Hortons, the Bradys, was closer to one of her victims than to her. She was all alone, and she wondered if she should bring Will down with her.   
  
If she just vanished, and watched from the sidelines, Will would resent her, think she hadn't loved him. Suicide was an option, but she wasn't sure she trusted Lucas and the rest of her family quite *that* much, and besides, she didn't want to die. If she had wanted to die, would she have been frightened at the thought of Alan in the bushes, at the sound of a car backfiring?  
  
More thought was needed, but all she had was time.  
  
***********  
  
Lucas watched his son as he slept. The crib had been Philip's until very recently, and it had not been hard to uncover. Kate had retracted her demand that he leave Titan and the Mansion soon after they had left Austin's apartment. She was mad at him, true, but she sympathized with his pain over missing so much of Will's life. Lucas was glad that someone realized that Austin had not been the only loser in this fiasco.  
  
Kate was standing in the doorway of the room where Will lay. She could not help feeling some pride for the way Lucas treated the boy, and sympathy because he had been manipulated by Sami Brady, but how could he have gone even a short period of time without telling everyone who would listen that that child was his? Especially, how could he hurt Austin and Carrie again. What had she done to make Lucas so insecure and vindictive? Austin's and Billie's character flaws and mistakes could be explained away as the fruits of their time spent with Curtis and living on the streets, but Lucas was *hers* and hers alone. Finally sensing his mother's presence, Lucas rose and joined her outside the room.  
  
"How is Will?"  
  
"Fine. Sleeping. Obviously."  
  
"That's good. He'll be happy here. He's not even a year younger than Philip, so we'll arrange for the nanny to take him when you can't. They'll be best friends, I'm sure. They can learn to swim together, and to ride horses. It won't be a conventional family, but until you fall in love and get married, I think this is the best way."  
  
"Thanks, Mom. He isn't going to be here all the time, you know. He's still Sami's son too."  
  
"Sami! Lucas, you aren't seriously thinking of sharing him with that little witch!"  
  
"She is his mother, whatever else she is."  
  
"I think the 'whatever else' is pretty important."  
  
"I'm not saying it isn't. I'm just saying I don't think I could get full custody from Sami, and I don't intend to try."  
  
"Aren't you the least bit upset with her?" Disbelief was written all over Kate's face.  
  
"I'm very upset with her, but she could have done worse. She told me what happened two days after she found out, and I appreciate that, if nothing else."  
  
"I suppose you do. Now, since *I've* had a little time to think things through and send Carrie and Austin off to Hawaii, could you try to explain to me why you didn't tell everyone the truth as soon as you found out?"  
  
"About who Will's father is? We were waiting for the right time."  
  
"I was actually thinking of the little matter of faking amnesia as well, but we can start with Will."  
  
"Austin was about to marry Sami. We thought that his finding out about this would stop him, so we let it slide for a while."  
  
"I thought you were over trying to destroy your brother. Lucas, you have to understand--"  
  
"I do understand, maybe better than Austin. If he didn't love Sami at least a little, he wouldn't take her word over Carrie's time after time. Carrie can do better."  
  
"Like you?"  
  
"Maybe. I don't think she wants to, but anyone would be better for her than Austin."  
  
"Think about what you just said. Carrie doesn't *want* anyone but Austin."  
  
"But he wants Sami. And she wants him. Everyone would be happy, eventually."  
  
"Sami doesn't deserve to be happy."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"You need a list?"  
  
"Because she's made mistakes, she doesn't deserve to be happy? Mom, by that criterion, I don't deserve to be happy, and neither do Carrie and Austin. Frankly, neither do you. Neither does anyone much older than Will and Philip."  
  
"None of us is in the same league as Sami."  
  
"I don't know about that, Mom. I just don't know."  
  
"Fine. If you want her in Will's life, it's up to you. But you WILL change your mind, and I hope something awful doesn't happen before you do."  
  
"I don't think there's much chance of that."  
  
"We'll have to agree to disagree. Now, your motivation to helping Sami fake amnesia was similar to your motivation to helping her lie about Will's paternity?"  
  
"I suppose."  
  
"You don't happen to know for sure?"  
  
"Well, there was that, yes. And I was also so grateful to see her coming back to herself--"  
  
"Why?!"  
  
"Mom, as much as I know it bothers you, Sami is my friend. Or she was. I'm not really sure. It hurt me that she wanted to lie to Will about his father and to tell you the truth I'm not sure why I agreed to do it. But I don't like to see Sami hurting any more than I like to see Carrie hurting."  
  
Kate turned in disgust. "I can't believe you sometimes. Well, *I* like to see Sami hurting, and tonight I'm getting my way."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Austin called from the plane. Seems he spoke to her right before he and Carrie left. She was wandering around the park like she was homeless." Kate chuckled. "She practically is. Did you hear how mad she made Marlena?"  
  
"Sami's smart. She still has places to go. I don't think her family would turn her away no matter how mad they are about her little scheme, and if worst came to worst she could go to Vivian Alamain. She still has favors she can trade with Vivian."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"I don't even know. I just know Sami always has something up her sleeve."  
  
"You don't have to sound so admiring."  
  
"Why not? It's amazing sometimes, the things she comes up with."  
  
Kate rolled her eyes again. "I'm going to bed. I suggest you do the same. You'll have a lot to do for Will tomorrow, plus some extra things at work since Carrie and Austin are gone."  
  
"Okay. Goodnight, Mom. I love you."  
  
"Exasperating as you *are*, I love you, too, Baby. Goodnight."  
  
Lucas had not intention of going to sleep, and while he suspected that his mother knew it, he didn't care. What would she do if she realized he was gone, anyway? Change the locks? Kidnap Will? Lecture him about being judged by the company he kept? Well, maybe the last one. Probably not the other two.   
  
Reaching his car, he turned the key in the ignition, briefly thrilled, as always, to be driving something so flashy. He loved sports cars. He loved speed. But at the moment, he had somewhere important to go, and if he viewed the speed limit as a suggestion tonight, it was not simply because he could. Sami was hurting, and he had to find her before she did something stupid. As many brilliant schemes as she came up with, she invented terrible ones as well, and she needed someone, usually him, to show her the difference before she put herself in danger. And he would not stand for Will's mother putting herself in danger.  
  
Lucas drove around the park, but his headlights did little to illuminate the thick mid-summer foliage. Sami might not even be here, he reasoned. Should he call around before checking out the park on foot? It would not be a good idea to awaken some of the suspects on his list . . . but maybe Sami still had the cell phone Austin had given her when she had begun to move around on her own following the accident. He was pleased to realize that he knew the number by heart and did not have to look it up.  
  
The phone was answered on the second ring.  
  
"Hello?" That wasn't Sami. "Hello? Who is this?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry--"  
  
"Lucas. Do you know where my daughter is?"  
  
"No, I don't. That's why I was trying to call her."  
  
"She left her cell phone, and just about everything else, in Austin's apartment this afternoon. I thought she'd turn up here or at the Pub, but she hasn't."  
  
"Why would she? You practically disowned her this afternoon." He hadn't entirely meant to say that out loud, but it was true.  
  
"I was angry, and I said some things I shouldn't have, but I do not need you to tell me--"  
  
"You're right, and I'm sorry. Listen, I'm at the park. Apparently Austin spoke to her here before he and Carrie left. If I find her, I'll have her call you."  
  
"Please do that. And please tell her that her family is worried."  
  
"I will." Somehow I doubt she'll believe it, but I will.  
  
"Thank you. I won't keep you, then."  
  
"Goodbye."  
  
"Goodbye."  
  
Lucas tossed his phone on the front seat of his car, slammed the door, and making sure everything was locked, headed into the park. He asked himself why exactly it was that Sami's family wasn't here, too, looking for her, if they were so concerned. He got no answer.  
  
Where to find Sami, then? Austin had used to take Carrie down here to push her on the swings, and that was apparently something the couples from Salem High liked to do. It was a start.  
  
Sure enough, when he emerged into the clearing, a familiar figure was sitting on a swing, posture utterly dejected.  
  
"Want a push?"  
  
She started.  
  
"Lucas?"  
  
"Who else?"  
  
"If you came down here to yell at me, you're late. I don't think you can say anything that Austin didn't, or Carrie, or your Mom, or my Mom."  
  
"I'm not here to yell at you. I'm here because I was worried. Your family is worried, too."  
  
"Tell me another one."  
  
"I just talked to your Mom, not even ten minutes ago. She wants you to call her, but even if you won't, she wants you to know that she's worried and she was just surprised and angry this afternoon."  
  
"As always."  
  
"She was fine this morning at Salem Place, you have to admit."  
  
"That was when she thought I didn't have my memories, that I wasn't me."  
  
"You were still you, trust me."  
  
"Easy for you to say. You knew the truth."  
  
"Yeah, but you didn't change that much. You just didn't act angry at everyone. Anyway, I'm parked on the other side, so I'll take you wherever you want."  
  
"I don't want to go anywhere."  
  
He adopted his best fathering voice, which he supposed he should work on perfecting. "Sami, I know you like the swings, but you CANNOT move into the playground, and I don't care what the other kids in your class get to do."  
  
"No, you don't care. So stop acting like you do."  
  
"Sami, you are Will's mother. You are my friend, or you were, I want you to be anyway. I care about you. I would not be out here in the middle of the night if I didn't."  
  
"Leave me alone, Lucas." She got up and headed for the patch of woods, but Lucas moved quickly and grabbed her arm.  
  
"What, you're gonna run away again? You can run away from Austin, but not me!"  
  
"You talked to Austin?" That had her attention.  
  
"Mom did. She was kind of gloating--" Lucas mentally kicked himself as Sami's face fell even farther, if that was possible "and she mentioned that Austin said you were wandering around here aimlessly." Sami weakened even more, and Lucas loosened his grip. Bad move. Sami was quickly off and running through the woods, forcing Lucas to take off in pursuit. She couldn't outrun him, but this was still annoying. Sami Brady didn't make anything easy.  
  
Sami glanced quickly over her shoulder. Lucas was going to catch her and either tell her what a horrible person she was himself or take her to someone who would do it instead. Suddenly, opportunity presented itself as she hopped out of the woods and into the more public part of the park. A dimly lit stand was still selling funnel cake and soda even though the rest of the vendors had long since gone home. Still, if one stand was still open, the public restrooms were not locked, and she had found a place where Lucas could not follow her. Once inside, she collapsed to the cold tile floor.  
  
Lucas saw Sami's intentions a second too late. Damn. He should have held onto her or grabbed her again when he had the chance. He really hadn't wanted to knock her down, though. The vendor was busily cleaning his stand, but he was still within earshot, so Lucas had no intention of shouting at Sami through the door. Sami looked like hell, and he wasn't in the mood to be taken for an abusive boyfriend. Fine, then. If he didn't want to look like a lurker, he wouldn't lurk. He pushed the door open.  
  
Sami was lying on the floor. "I hope she plans on burning those clothes when she takes them off tonight," Lucas mumbled to himself. "Sami, are you okay?" he asked aloud.  
  
"I can't believe you came in here. You'll look like a sex offender."  
  
Lucas glanced around nervously. "I know. But I had to see if you were okay. Are you?"  
  
"Usually when people have to chase people through the woods, it means that people don't want to talk to people."  
  
"You still haven't answered my question."  
  
"Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."  
  
"So you aren't okay. What's wrong?"  
  
"None of your business."  
  
"We share a child. Some of your life is my business from now on."  
  
"We shouldn't share a child." Lucas was exasperated. Even in a state of complete misery, Sami was punishing him for being Will's father.  
  
"Look, I know you wanted it to be Austin--"  
  
"No, Lucas. *I* shouldn't be his mother. People like me don't deserve children like Will."  
  
Lucas laughed. "If only people who deserved kids like Will had kids, the human race would die out."  
  
"I'm worse than most."  
  
"You're not so bad, Sami. No one thinks you're a bad mother, not even my Mom." A slight exaggeration, perhaps, but only slight.  
  
"I've been thinking about this ever since I left Austin's. I don't think you can be a bad person and a good mother."  
  
"Then you must not be a bad person."  
  
"If you believe that, you're the only one in the world."  
  
"No, I'm not. Your whole family loves you, you know that."  
  
"Then why aren't they here? Most of them aren't even in Salem. They don't even love me enough to call me on my birthday, or visit when I wake up from a coma paralyzed and with amnesia."  
  
Lucas moved to sit on the floor beside her, and wrapped his arms around her. "Sami, I don't know these people. I don't know their reasons. But I can't imagine not liking you."  
  
"What if I spent years lying to you and making your life miserable?"  
  
"I'd be mad as hell, but I think I'd still like you."  
  
"Austin said no one likes me." Her voice was small, and flat.  
  
"Austin is mad, Sami. You know that. You have to understand why."  
  
"Austin really is never going to love me."  
  
"Probably not, Sami. Not that way you want."  
  
"I thought if I just tried hard enough, for long enough . . ." Sami suddenly forgot what she wanted to say. The tears that hadn't come when she was talking to Austin came now, and she cried not only for Austin but for a million things she couldn't quite name. She vaguely recalled laughing hysterically at Lucas in the Pub a few weeks earlier. Why her emotions always seemed so out of control around him she could not fathom, but at the moment she was just indescribably glad that he was here. She stopped crying as suddenly as she had begun and looked at Lucas.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"No problem."  
  
"Really, thank you for everything. Thank you for coming here, thank you for chasing me . . . thank you for Will."  
  
Lucas smiled. "Thank you for that, too."  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
"At the Mansion. He's planning to spend all day tomorrow playing with Philip, I think."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Are you ready to go?"  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Wherever you want."  
  
"Venice?" She almost smiled.  
  
"Try to limit it to Salem city limits."  
  
"Lucas, I really don't want to deal with my family."  
  
"Look, I understand . . . hey, I have money. Want me to get you a hotel room? You can straighten your life out later."  
  
"Would you do that?"  
  
He smiled back at her. "Sure."  
  
They returned to his car. Lucas opened the passenger door for Sami. She paused with her hand on the door. "I like you, too, you know. More than anyone else in Salem most of the time."  
  
Lucas blinked. He hadn't been expecting that. "Get in the car." Sami giggled and did as she was asked.  
  
**********  
  
Lucas hung around Sami's room while she showered. He still had to coerce her into calling home. He wasn't sure why he felt it was his responsibility. Probably had something to do with his son's relatives being his son's relatives.  
  
Sami emerged, looking much better. Time to spoil that.  
  
"Sami, I have to tell you this--"  
  
"Call my mother? Fine. You wanna listen?" Without waiting for an answer, she roughly grabbed the phone that sat on the table beside her bed and quickly dialed. "Hello? Mom? I'm still alive. See you tomorrow when I pick up my stuff." Then she hung up.  
  
A bemused look crept onto Lucas' face. "Sami . . ."  
  
"What? I didn't feel the need to get a lecture. I'm just so tired . . ."  
  
"Okay, okay."  
  
Sami moved around him and crawled into her bed, pulling her still-wet hair out of the way.  
  
"I guess I'll get back to Will now."  
  
"Wait," she mumbled, already nine-tenths asleep.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"We have to do something with Will, as a family. And take a picture."  
  
"Okay. Soon."  
  
Sami answered him, but she was asleep before Lucas could make out the words. So he left the room, locking the door behind him, and returned home, less worried about his son's future than he had been since he had learned that he had a son.  
  
End Part 5  
(there will be an epilogue)  
  
  
Conformity to Knowledge-- Epilogue  
  
Sami's head shot up as a knock sounded on her door. "Will!" she thought.  
  
Sure enough, Austin stood just outside the door, holding the child close against his chest. "Hey, Will. Did you have fun with your Uncle Austin?"  
  
"Yes, we had lots of fun, didn't we?" Austin answered for Will as he handed him to his mother.  
  
"Would you like to come in, Austin?"  
  
"For a minute."  
  
Austin did enter the room, his eyes never leaving Will. He looked at him almost hungrily, and Sami knew that what he had said that night in the park was true, he would never get over the revelation that Will was not his son. Sami was sorry that Austin was hurting, but she couldn't quite bring herself to feel guilty. After all she hadn't known that Will was Lucas' child, and besides, wasn't it better to have loved and lost or something like that?  
  
"So, how's Carrie?"  
  
"Fine." Austin grew more reticent at the mention of his fiancee. The divorce had gone through quickly once it became common knowledge that Sami had her memory back. "She's worried about your father."  
  
"So am I. I couldn't believe it when Kristen brought him to the wedding to crash it." Sami had been pleased then that she had decided to attend the wedding after all. She had made that decision largely because she knew that Austin would think less of her if she was unwilling to stand up for her mother, and was glad that she had. The prospect of missing her father's return to Salem was not one which she liked to entertain.  
  
"Neither could anyone else." Austin's voice drew her back to reality.  
  
"I haven't talked to my Mom all day, do you know anything more about what's wrong with him than I do?"  
  
"No, I don't. Mike Horton can't seem to come up with anything other than 'he's sick.' It's not something they've seen before, as you know. They're hoping antibiotics will work anyway."  
  
"They have to. I can't lose him again."  
  
"Carrie feels the same way."  
  
"I guess she would. And Eric, too. I guess Carrie told you he's actually coming home tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah, I can't wait to meet him, finally."  
  
"He's the best!" A silence fell across the room. Sami knew that Austin was still upset with her. Carrie either didn't know he was here at all or had only agreed to it because she thought Austin really missed Will. It seemed that Will would link her to Austin forever even if he was not Austin's natural child. For that, Sami was eternally grateful.  
  
Desperate to fill the silence, Austin informed Sami of one piece of information that he did know, although he wasn't sure he was supposed to repeat it. "Kristen told your father that she and John are still a couple, and that your mother had never gotten over your father's leaving her. Mike thinks that your father might be too weak to deal with the repercussions of learning that's not true, so for now they're sort of lying to him. The lengths to which Kristen will go" Austin shook his head "I'm just amazed every time."  
  
"I saw that one coming miles ago," thought Sami, but what she said was "Did you want to put Will down?"  
  
Austin eagerly replied in the affirmative. That was probably why he'd come in in the first place. As he moved to Will's bedroom, Lucas came into the living room and stood in front of Sami.  
  
"Ever heard of knocking?" Sami asked, not really mad.  
  
"You, or Austin, left the door open."  
  
"How did you know Austin was here?"  
  
"Brilliant deductions, keen powers of observation, natural intelligence--"  
  
"You saw him walk in?"  
  
"That too." He glanced around the apartment. "I really do like this place."  
  
"You should. You bought it. Thank you, again."  
  
"You don't have to thank me every time you see me. Think of it as back child support payments or something. You know I wouldn't let you and Will live anywhere but in the best place there is."  
  
"Speaking of places to live, did you know that Kristen had my father move into the DiMera Mansion and then told him that she and John were engaged and my Mom was lusting after my Dad?"  
  
"Who didn't see that coming? Why don't they watch her?"  
  
Sami shook her head. "I don't know. I knew you'd see it that way, though. Sometimes it's so frustrating, when people trust each other for no reason, when there are dozens of reasons not to. If I were Mom or John I would have . . . you know."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Austin returned, and, no longer having Will to enjoy, quickly excused himself and vanished.  
  
"Any new schemes to get him that I should know about?"  
  
"Not right now. He just seems so, so,"  
  
"So what?"  
  
"Lacking in brilliant deductive ability, keen powers of observation, and natural intelligence."  
  
Lucas snickered. "I could have told you that years ago. I probably did. But does this mean you aren't after him anymore?"  
  
"I will ALWAYS love Austin. He's . . ."  
  
"Again, what?"  
  
"I don't even know."  
  
"Well, maybe you can tell me tomorrow when we take Will to the park?"  
  
"Okay. We have to do it early, though. Eric is coming and I want him to meet his nephew."  
  
"No problem. Well, I just came over to make sure everything was all right, so I'll see you tomorrow morning."  
  
"All right." Their shoulders brushed as Lucas reached for the door. He turned quickly, and their eyes met, inches apart. Lucas broke the gaze and left, and Sami watched him exit the building from her window.  
  
"What just happened?" she asked herself. She had no answer, but she was sure that she would soon find out.  
  
The End   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
